The Eve of the Thirty Third Procedure

He is almost five years old now. Tomorrow he will undergo his 33rd eye procedure. I wonder at times, if he did have his complete vision if we would be as close as we have become. I wonder if he would be far more interested in running around and playing sports than cuddling up next to me early in the mornings as I write. 

At this point I am almost certain he may be completely blind by the time he is ten years old. I welcome the notion of being wrong about that but I refuse to live in denial or nonacceptance of him and who he is completely. We have our battles. He has to be reminded not to run because he could seriously hurt himself or someone else. (normal for a four year old boy) We battle over him sitting in one place while he is eating because he spills quite a bit (also within the normal behavior zone) The biggest battle is trying to get him to understand how his constant need for sound can be bothersome for people who need quiet. (he constantly makes sound as a way of stimulation, since he lacks visual stimulation) The even bigger part of that battle is having to remind myself of that. His lack of vision has given him a very deep sense of the ability to feel emotion. As a result he has become an incredibly sensitive and loving boy. He has no shame in offering true apologies if he feels he has wronged or hurt someone. He doesn't go one day without hugging and verbally expressing his love for us.

So, as we venture into yet another procedure and I reflect on life with my darling boy, I realize that despite all we have been through I am very very happy with him and I wouldn't have him any other way!