We Have Decided

It was a tough decision. It took a great amount of thought. We have decided that we will be using an Online Charter School Program for Matt.

Kindergarten was a very difficult year for us, for several reasons. Although we as Matt's parents attended several IEP meetings in an effort to make sure he was getting the resources necessary to have a successful and engaging school year, we found his experience fell terribly short of that. There were mornings I was almost in tears, begging my child to please help me to get him ready for school. There were days I felt terrible for feeling like I "had" to send him into an environment where he expressed he was very uncomfortable. I knew when I found myself bribing him to go to school something had to change.

I already knew from asking questions that he was very uncomfortable with his teacher. One of the advantages of having a child who is unable to see with his natural eyes. is his strong ability to see with his spirit eyes. He can feel when someone is dealing with him out of frustration, anger, duty...etc. He expressed in his own way how he felt his teacher did not accept him for who he was and although she attempted to "pretend" as though she did, he could feel she was not sincere in her effort. He in turn had trouble opening up to her teaching. Therefore he resisted most of what she was teaching although he was capable of learning it if presented differently.

Now, I in no way attempt to pretend that Matt is an easy person to deal with. He can be very difficult. Especially for someone who is trying to get him to walk in the lines of their structure. I use the term their structure because it isn't that he lacks structure, it is that the structure he is working with and understands has been built from his own life experience which does not include some key and critical building blocks that most of us with vision depend on. For example, he lacks the ability to read facial expressions and use it as a guide to someone's emotion. In his world he requires constant verbal cues, he depends on tone of voice...etc. This can become tiring for the person who feels he is constantly asking questions and feeling the need to talk about everything that is going on around him. It can really be difficult for us when we are having a conversation and it does not include him because he feels the need to say what he thinks and it comes off as extremely rude and intrusive. We are working to help him understand how to respect space but forcing him into an environment where he must conform without any regard for his experience is not the way we want to teach him.

So, after a few moths of pondering and considering we feel we can provide a better environment for his kind of structure and make adjustments based on his needs. We will try to help incorporate and accommodate the academic part of his education in our home setting where he is not only free but held responsible. Where he will have people who love him, understand him and have invested in him and will continue to go outside of the box to conform and make it work.

I hope for strength, peace, patience and cooperation in this next chapter of our journey together.